Psychological Life Hacks

Innovation can be summed up as doing things differently and doing different things. 

Sometimes we get into routines that we feel comfortable with and dread the prospect of change. By sticking to the same pattern all the time, you’re reducing the chances for cool (and also uncool) surprises and that innovative spark 🔥 

 

There’s psychological evidence that doing something different to what you’d normally do increases your creativity. Something as simple as choosing a new route for your journey to work could increase your ability to innovate.

 

When there’s no obstacle in your path, there’s no need to come up with new ideas or try anything different.

 

So, here’s my psychological life hack for this week. Stimulate your hippocampus (that’s where we store long-term memories). When you leave home for work, why not head completely in the wrong direction? Keep on driving until you’re about an hour from your workplace. Even go further…drive until you’re in a different city. Enjoy a drive off the beaten track. Pull into the parking lot of another business establishment. It could be a gas station, a bookstore or coffee shop. It doesn’t matter. Walk in with confidence and tell them you’re going to be working remotely from their office into your regular office. Set up office in their manager’s office. Clear the desk and get comfy. You’re somewhere completely foreign and different. Your mind is blown, literally and figuratively, and you will grow so much. Challenge yourself to be brave and spontaneous. The manager whose office you’ve occupied may eventually call the police on you, but for a few moments, it was so totally worth it. You’d also remember the day more with greater emotional depth and connection.

 

Learn to forge new neural pathways in your brain and fire up your synapses in the process. 

 

Change your name: You’ve been called Ayo, Nkechi, Omo or Adebayo all your life. How has it helped you? Do not to get too ingrained in the habit of keeping one lame name for a lifetime. Try a different name to break the monotony of your usual habits. Change is OK and actually helps you grow. People calling you over and over again by the same name gets you in a rut. A different name gives you a different perspective. 

 

Tell everyone at your workplace that your new name is Tom (not to be confused with tomfoolery). They will respect your choice and right to a different name. Some smart Ass might call it a midlife crisis but what do you care? Naturally, you won’t respond when they call you Tom because you have not fully internalized the name but that is A-Okay. Your work colleagues will think that Tom is just a bit quieter than Ayo, Nkechi, Omo or Adebayo and they’ll respectfully keep their distance. 

 

I will be back soon with more psychological life hacks. 

A TOAST AND HELLO TO 2023. GOODBYE 2022!

We are three weeks already into 2023, can you believe it?  I wanted to get some things off the old chest with a quick recap of the eventful year 2022.

 

On your marks, get set, slap! 

2022 began with a resounding slap.

Except you were living under a rock, you’d recall that Chris Rock made a joke on stage at the Oscars. It was about the shaved head of Jada Pinkett Smith — who has alopecia.  Smith slapped Rock for the jab at his wife. The infamous smack sparked public outrage — but Rock remained noticeably and inexplicably quiet.

 

Has anyone ever threatened to slap you into next week? Don’t always consider it a bluff as they could carry out this threat. 

 

What people didn’t realize was that Will Smith👋 tore open a portal in time and flung Rock into the future with that smack. The slap sent Rock’s essence into 2023 where he’s still kind of processing what happened. 

 

“I had like a whole show I wrote before this weekend. I’m still kinda processing what happened. So at some point, I’ll talk about that s–.” - Chris Rock. 

 

I’m so glad we all got to meet Rock and his essence again in 2023.

 

 

Kanye West—also known as “Ye” had an interesting Year. See what I did there? Ye and YEar? You probably couldn’t care. Anyway, his village people found his remote control. Ye spouted anti-Semitic comments and conspiracy theories, criticized Black Lives Matter, ended business and personal relationships and was blocked on social media platforms. He faced widespread backlash and disavowal by industry peers.

 

Before Adidas cut ties with West, Forbes estimated he’s worth around $2 billion. West got the voodoo arrow from his village people and lost the Adidas deal. It’s now estimated that he is worth “only” $400 million.

 

 

A “cousin” of the Omicron variant of COVID-19 known as “Kraken” showed up in 2022. We were already stressed out and fatigued by his other relatives in the ever-growing variant soup. When Kraken was told we had no seat left at the dining table for him, he told us not to worry because he brought his own stool. Originating in Scandinavian folklore, the kraken is usually depicted as an aggressive cephalopod-like creature. It feeds on unlucky prey and is capable of destroying entire ships and dragging sailors to their doom. The Kraken is perhaps the largest monster ever imagined by mankind. 

 

The variant has quickly risen to dominance. Experts say it is more contagious than many of its predecessors. 

 

Queen Elizabeth II died at Balmoral Castle in Scotland on 8 September. Legend has it that the Queen was 4.6 billion years old making her the oldest human and longest-ever reigning monarch. In a solemn, esoteric and mystical operation, known as London Bridge, the Queen was succeeded by her eldest son, King Charles III. A change of system administrator but same operating system. 

 

 

On 15 November 2022, the world surpassed 8 billion people. Here’s a fun fact: more boys than girls are born worldwide (for every 100 girls born, there are nearly 106 boys), but women live longer than men almost everywhere in the world.  Make of that what you will. 

 

The wind of ownership shifted at Twittersphere as Elon Musk took over the reins and also became the main character on Twitter. There’s a school of thought that opines this could be the beginning of new beginnings. Another school of thought claims this is the beginning of the end of Twitter. My take is that you shine your eyes with the way Musk is changing things.  

 

Russia invaded Ukraine in a "special military operation". The initial US assessment from before the invasion anticipated that the Ukrainian capital would be overrun within one to four days of a Russian attack. Unknown to the Russians and Americans, Ukrainians are like garri or eba. They swell as you pound or shell them. Swelling like eba as the volume of water increases, the absorption power of the Ukrainians came as a surprise. Ukrainians have a high starch component when placed in hot water. And so they rose or swelled to the occasion. 

 

MY POOR LITTLE TOE

Now and then, I pick up a book that's so intriguing I just can't put it down until I reach the last page. Compelling, vivid and racy pages filled with plot twists, secrets, thrillers, and cliffhangers.

I was reading such a book in bed. Reluctantly, I flipped off the lights because it was time to sleep. There was work the next day. Early to bed, early to rise and all that good stuff.

I heard a strange sound just as I was about drifting off to asleep. Was the front door locked? I couldn’t remember. I got up in the middle of the night. I didn't think I needed the lights. I was sure I knew the way to the front door even in the dark. Suddenly, I found the hard table legs with the little toe of my right foot. That's the function of the little toe. Like an antennae, it feels around for where we are going and helps us make painful connections with furniture or sharp objects. Well done, little toe.

The pain was acute and hurt like a mother. My poor metatarsal seemed fractured. I touched the toe with my fingers. It was painful and tender. Sometimes, I exaggerate when it comes to pain, but I had a feeling immediate surgery was required. I turned my head towards the night sky and let out a primitive howl of sheer agony. I could imagine my neighbors pulling their blankets tighter and over their heads. No doubt thinking it was an angry werewolf or some other nocturnal beast.

Time to find that blasted light switch that was on a wall somewhere. I needed the light after all. Just then, I stubbed the same hurt toe on the TV stand as I fumbled around in the dark looking for the light switch. This time, I unleashed a loud, ear-piercing scream like some poor creature in a death agony.

The sad and traumatized life of my poor little toe. Repeatedly stubbing the same toe pisses me off.

UNLIKE CATS, WE HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE, AND A SHORT PRECIOUS ONE

A couple of years ago, I was robbed at gunpoint and the incident felt like a scene from a movie. The robbers overtook my car and blocked my path at about midnight. Four armed teenagers. The experience was surreal.

 

They ordered me not to look at their faces as they took my car key, phone and wallet. One of them hit my face with his gun butt to drive home each new instruction. That was when I realized this movie may not have a happy ending. The car was insured and had a tracker. I had no worries about the car. My worry was about the unpredictable actions of the hoodlums who were apparently high on drugs. I feared for my life. They were out of control. I still felt like I was in a movie, and I didn't know when or how this movie was going to end.

 

Just then, we were caught in the bright glare of headlights as another car approached from the opposite direction. They left me and ran towards the car. They began harassing the other driver and ordered him to lie down on the road. That was when a voice (probably that of the movie director) told me it was my cue to get away. Like a gazelle, I ran down a side street in a zig-zag pattern. I must have broken the current Olympic games record for the distance I ran.

 

"Stop or we will shoot!" the robbers shouted. But the will to live gave me that extra jolt of speed. Fear and self-preservation propelled me. The robbers beat the other driver to a pulp and took away both cars.

 

The police got my car back a couple of weeks later during a routine traffic stop.

Weird Compliment

When clients walk through the door, we roll out the red carpet and offer the whole nine yards to them.

 

My elderly client came in for an appointment and I offered her a drink which she accepted. She felt hot and so I adjusted the room temperature. She forgot her reading glasses and couldn't read the documents I printed out for her to sign. So I increased the font size. She still couldn't make out some of the numbers and so I wrote them out for her.

 

"You should have been a doctor," she said with a sweet smile. It was an unusual compliment that a banker should have been a doctor, but I accepted it. I guess I'm caring like that. Most doctors I have met are kind and caring professionals.

 

"Why do you say that? That I should have been a doctor?" I asked her.

"I can't read your handwriting!" she said.

 

Okay, it started like a compliment, but then ended up as a criticism.

THE MAGIC OF CONFIDENCE

Two men, wearing overalls, entered the large school hall. I could see their service truck parked outside. 'Facilities Maintenance Engineers' was written on the side in bold letters.

 

We were about 20 students standing and talking in small groups with some of our teachers. One of the men approached my group. Our Physical Education teacher stood with us.

 

The man wore work gloves and was dressed in clean green overalls. He had a tool box with him.

"We got a call that some of your ceiling fans and air conditioners are not working properly. We are here to fix them."

"Good. Sometimes the heat gets unbearable. Someone finally heard our cries," said the PE teacher with a smile.

 

The men went to work. In no time, they had removed all the ceiling fans and most of the air conditioners. Some of the students assisted them in loading the items on the truck. They gave us a friendly wave as they drove away.

 

The school principal entered the hall some minutes later and felt something was amiss. We told him about the service technicians. They had taken the ceiling fans and air conditioners for repairs.

 

"Who called them?" he asked. We didn't know. We thought he called them. He didn't call them. No one in the school had called the 'Facilities Maintenance Engineers'. We never saw them again. Nor the items they took away.

 

Act confident and you can get away with almost anything. Act like you belong there. If you act nervous or uncomfortable, people won’t trust you. Walk with purpose and people will step aside. They will give you room and treat you differently.

A Good Friend

It's rare that someone calls you at 3am with an offer of employment or some other good news. 3am calls are usually unexpected bad news. So when my phone rang at 3am, I stared at the phone screen with a frown. It was my childhood friend calling.

 

He had an accident on his way back from the night club. The collision led to a four-car pileup. He wasn't hurt but his car was damaged.

 

It was warm and cozy under my bed covers. But I didn't tell him this. I didn’t also mention that it was an indecent time to call me. I didn't yawn and ask him if there was no one else he could have called. For Pete's sake, what was he doing at a night club so late? No, I didn't ask him that either.

 

"I'm coming," I said. Police and other emergency services were at the crash scene. The vehicles were moved off the road and out of the line of traffic. I took my friend home with me.

 

I left the country about a year after this incident. Someone called me at about 3am some weeks ago. 3am calls rarely bring good news. My dad was stabbed multiple times by a mugger who robbed him of his valuables. I was frantic with worry. How was he doing? He was at the hospital but was he getting the best medical care? Were the injuries life threatening? I reached out to my childhood friend. He didn't ask me why I called him at such an ungodly hour. He didn't ask why my dad was not mindful or careful. He only asked me for the address of the hospital and he went there to see my dad. He kept me constantly updated.

 

That's what a friend does. A friend is someone you can count on in times of adversity. They love you and support you unconditionally.

FACEPALM MOMENT

A couple came to the bank and approached my colleague at his wicket. They explained that they had not used their bank accounts in a long time. But they knew they had outstanding balances.

"Do you have your client cards?"

No. They did not have their client cards.

"Do you know your PIN?"

No. They could not remember their PIN.

"Do you remember your internet banking usernames or passwords?"

They did not. They had also forgotten that.

My colleague looked frustrated at this point.

"Do you remember your names?"

The couple smiled. Yes, they happened to remember their names. It was written on their driver's license.

You could tell they were in love. They held hands and looked like they were both pushing 40. The woman was beautiful and only spoke a smattering of English. The man acted as an interpreter during the discussions.

The man wanted to know if he could act on the woman's behalf for all her banking transactions because of her language limitations. He didn't want the legal hurdles involved in getting a Power of Attorney. Were there any other options?

"So you want to act on your mother's behalf?" my colleague asked.

WHAT?! They were clearly an item and not mother and son. What was he thinking?

The man bristled at the suggestion that his companion looked like his mother.

The woman asked him what was wrong. He explained to her what my colleague had asked. I could see her self-esteem collapsing.

She looked at herself in surprise. I could imagine her thought process. Was it her poor grasp of the English language? Was it her hair? Did it look tangled? Was it her dressing? Was it not fashionable? Was it her body? Was she out of shape? Was it her flat shoes? Would heels have been better?

Facepalm.

"She's not my mother. She's my wife," the man corrected. My colleague apologized but I noticed the woman had cut off eye contact with him. She looked uncomfortable and heartbroken.

 

It's not what it looks like!

It's depressing when people lose their precious life savings through fraudulent transactions. They can get hysterical and even suicidal. I have worked in the banking sector for long and it's easy to spot signs of financial despair.
 

Tears stream down her face. She's got that desperate, panicked look in her eyes. There's a long line of people and she's the last person on the queue. Her eyes dart back and forth, seeking a knight in shining armor. Chivalry is not dead. A gallant knight, I mount my white horse and ride to her side. I see the absolute terror in her eyes. Between sobs, she tells me she has lost her life savings and possibly a large chunk of her mind.
 

I invite her to the privacy of my office, away from prying eyes, to get the full details of what transpired.
 

"I made a payment online and it turns out it's a fraudulent transaction. I want to cancel the payment before they make away with my hard-earned savings. Please help me."

I urge her to stay calm but that only gets her more agitated.

"Do you have your client card?" I needed to identify the person before me. She could be the one trying to defraud the actual account owner. There are strict procedures when processing transactions. Verifying the client is paramount.

Unfortunately, she doesn't have her bank card.

"Do you have any means of identification?"

She left them at home in her frantic haste to get help at the nearest bank branch.

"Please you're wasting time. Stop the questions and cancel or reverse the payment before it's too late!"
 

But I need to identify her person before I can do anything. She needs to give me some form of identification.
 

She loses it completely. Goes berserk and hurls her phone against the wall. Then takes off her denim shirt and throws that on the floor. She sits down in her black jeans and lace bra, then starts pulling her hair. It's bizarre. I'm not sure how far this could go, so I try to restrain her with a hand on her shoulder. Just then, my manager enters the office attracted by the commotion.
 

Imagine how this looks. I have a hand on a young lady sitting in my office. She's distraught - screaming and fighting me off. Her denim shirt is on the floor, revealing an upper body clad only in a white lace bra. Her phone is shattered. My manager has a troubled look in his eyes.
 

"What's going on here?"

It certainly wasn't what it looked like.

Eventually, we were able to help her cancel the fund transfer she had done.

Movie Clichés: Bank Robberies

Movie Clichés: Bank Robberies

 

Originality in entertainment is hard to come by these days. The real robbery in heist movies are the stolen plots and cliché lines. If the movie is about a bank robbery, then this is how it goes down:

 

*The bank robber takes on one last job. This is it. The last one. He voluntarily comes out of retirement or is forced out of retirement by some bad guys. He's set for life if he can just pull this off.

 

*The plot thickens as he gathers a small crew of outlaws for the job. The crew of misfits often has a badass driver who's clumsy outside of a car. He drives like crazy and is the best getaway driver in town. If a female is part of the gang, then expect her to swear like a sailor.

 

*The robbery never goes according to plan. There's a lot of shooting during the actual heist and most of it is inaccurate. Cops and robbers are more interested in shattering objects around them than aiming at each other.

 

*Kids are always smarter than adults in such movies. It's a rule that must not be flouted.
 

*In their bid to get away, the robbers steal items of clothing to disguise themselves. These will fit perfectly, irrespective of the size or gender of the person from whom they stole the clothes.

 

*A robber who carries a photo of a loved one or describes how he's going to spend his loot, has no chance of returning alive. But the dying robber always lives long enough to say something profound like, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

 

*When the hero is confronted by cops or opponents, they agree to only attack him one at a time. This is probably part of the Geneva Conventions.

 

GINGERBREAD HOUSE CONTEST

GINGERBREAD HOUSE CONTEST

 

My office organizes an annual Gingerbread house design contest. It’s a labor of love that gets us into the holiday spirit. Two teams tagged ‘Red’ and ‘Blue' engage in erecting the most beautiful structures. It’s fun to see who can make the best decorated gingerbread house. Combining mini marshmallows, gumdrops, icing sugar, candy, spices and sprinkle. 

 

The Gingerbread houses are displayed in the open office on a raised platform. Staff vote for their preferred house using the provided red and blue ballots. I led the Red team this year and we worked hard on our edible house. My colleague, let's call her Miss P, was in charge of the Blue team. Team Red took the lead immediately.

 

Miss P let out a cry of disbelief at the growing pile of red ballots in the transparent box. Then she said to herself, "What the hell?" 

 

She walked over and stuffed all her blue ballots in the box. 

"There! We won," she declared. We all stared at her slack-jawed in shock. 

 "Why did you do that?" I asked. "Now it's all messed up."

"I never lose," she said. 

You'd think we were seven-year-old kids back in grade school. 

RIP-OFF MECHANICS

RIP-OFF MECHANICS

 

A friend lent me his Dodge Caravan. The car had a strong whiff of cigarette smoke and stale beer. There were also stains that resembled the color of light-colored mustard or ketchup.

 Nonetheless, I was glad to have the car. While driving, I observed that there was this crazy sound when I stepped on the brakes. A loud thud - the mother of all thuds and you know how mothers can be - followed by crazy vibrations. 

 I got worried and went to a mechanic. He gave me the bad news. The brake pads were worn and it had affected the drums. The pad runs on the disc, causes scoring and critically impacted the brake performance. I needed to fix the car urgently, or else! 

 As it turned out, the mechanic was a dodgy fellow. There was, naturally, a non-refundable fee for the diagnosis. I would get the full bill after the required extensive repairs. I didn't have the amount of cash he mentioned and a sixth sense told me this was a rip-off merchant.  

 It occurred to me that the sound I heard when I stepped on the brake was like something being flung about. I also remembered that my friend keeps a lot of junk in the trunk of his car.

I opened the trunk and the clutter was unbelievable. A spare tire, two switchblades, shoes, duct tape, tire iron, jumper cables, electric cables, work gloves, shovel, etc. It was like looking for weapons of mass destruction that may or may not be hidden away in Iraq. Some, if not most, of the items were useful things one should keep close at hand. However, the collection of handy items were lying about in an untidy mass. I eventually tidied up the clutter. I drive out and step hard on the brakes, the noise is gone. The brakes are just fine. It was the clutter that made the crazy-loud thud as the collection of items were thrown about in the trunk. 

HANDSHAKES

HANDSHAKES

 

Handshakes are weird and gross if you think about it. Two creatures grasp one of each other's limbs, in most cases accompanied by a brief up-and-down movement of the grasped limbs. This ritual marks the beginning of any sort of business partnership. It finalizes an agreement and begins most social interactions. 

 

We don’t even know what the other party has been doing with their hands. I don't want to gross you out with the endless possibilities. Sure, maybe they wash their hands occasionally. But how often and how thoroughly? 

 

If aliens arrived on Earth, they would find this human behavior absurd and incomprehensible. Aliens are going to think we are weird creatures engaged in a silly ritual before any face-to-face interaction. 

You know what? I'm just going to keep my hands behind my back, going forward. It’ll be cool to see how people react. I will simply smile and act like I missed their social cues. Definitely going to  get some confused looks. 

 

 

PUBLIC TRANSIT

PUBLIC TRANSIT

On the bus transit, you can bet your last dollar there are old gums stuck to the bottom of seats by benevolent persons. All you need do is crack one off, if you need it.

It was not nice what happened to me on the bus. I got on the bus and spotted an empty seat beside an elderly gentleman with a fuzzy beard. It was the last available seat. As soon as I made to sit down, the man gave me a funny look, stood up and moved away. He remained standing, holding onto the metal pole of the bus with one hand. Our gazes held for a second, before he turned away, fuming.

A lot of people prefer sitting alone on buses, so moving to an empty seat happens often and doesn’t bother me. But there was no empty seat on this bus. It wasn't a matter of wanting a seat closer to the exit either. It was apparent his exit point was not close.

"Am I not cool enough to sit next to or what?" I wondered. I was sure personal hygiene was not the issue. I was well-groomed and fashionable, if I may say so myself. Was the man a racist? I thought long and hard about it and almost got a migraine in the process.

Another stop, another passenger. This time, it was a woman. She was in her twenties and wore a pale green and yellow dress. She noticed the free seat and made a beeline for it. The man with the fuzzy beard quickly blocked her path.

"Stop! It’s wet! The seat's wet!"

I noticed now there was a visible wet patch on his pants. Some people don’t bother checking and end up sitting on wet seats or chewing gum. The woman was spared the discomfort of sitting on the spilled water? Someone’s sweat or pee? Heaven knows what a weirdo had left behind on the seat.

I smiled and my migraine immediately receded. Sometimes we read too far into things. We read signals and hidden messages that are not actually there.

 

THROW A HAMMER LIKE THOR

THROW A HAMMER LIKE THOR

 

Several years ago, I spoke with my parents on phone and they told me something that piqued my curiosity. A new neighbor had moved into the flat next door and they had a beautiful daughter around my age. I hadn't visited my parents in a long time and I was dying to see them. Okay, fine! I admit it. I was dying to meet the daughter of the new neighbor which doesn't mean I was actually dying. You do get what I mean?

 

So I went to visit my parents. I took a long walk when I arrived with an impatient expectation of seeing the new girl on the block. We almost ran into each other as I turned a sharp corner at the far end of the street. She stopped, startled. The reports of her looks had not been exaggerated.

 

"Heavens above," I thought to myself.

"Oh my god!" she said. It was the first time a girl had said out loud that I was a god or her personal god. It was music to my ears.

 

Someone reading this may say, "Oh, stuff it. She only used that phrase as an exclamation of surprise." Well, that’s your personal opinion, isn't it? Meanings of words and phrases are situational and open to individual interpretation. I prefer to think she thought of me as a god. Like Thor, the hammer-wielding god of thunder and lightning. Throughout the ages, gods have left mere mortals in awe.

 

 

PUZZLING ENCOUNTERS

PUZZLING ENCOUNTERS

I had just started my banking career as an intern. I was young and inexperienced. My branch manager took me under her wing and was eager to share her wealth of knowledge and experience. She oversaw multiple branch locations.

 
I stood with her at the banking hall while she explained the rudiments of banking. As I listened with rapt attention, a customer walked into the branch. We paused our chit-chat and welcomed her.

"What can we do for you today?" asked the branch manager.

"I saw the mortgage brochure of your bank somewhere and I was wondering if I could get a copy of it."

"Sure," said the branch manager. "Give me a minute and I'll get it for you." As she turned away to get the brochure, the customer gave me the once over.

"Are you her manager?" she asked. A smile stole across my face. I didn't laugh, although my mouth twitched a few times. Why would she imagine I was the manager? I was a greenhorn. Was it because I was well groomed and wore my best suit? Was it because I was taller than the manager? I couldn’t say.

 

Another time, I went with an General Manager to a function. His hair was unkempt, his clothes scruffy; his eyes bloodshot. He was so thin he could enter if a door was opened just a tiny crack. He was having a personal challenge at this time. I didn't come with my car so we went together in his vehicle. He drove while I sat in the car's passenger seat. There was no parking space to be found when we got to the location. We drove towards the security post where a security guard stood.

I powered down the window and asked him where we could park.

"You go inside, Sir. We'll direct your driver where to park the vehicle."

I turned to look at the GM's face. He was livid. His hands shook on the steering wheel. I did as directed by the security guard.

THE WISHING WELL

TIHE WISHING WELL

 A couple came upon a wishing well. The woman made a wish and threw in a penny. She unclasped her watch and it accidentally fell into the well. The husband was stunned for a moment. It was a family heirloom. A legacy timepiece passed down for generations. He cared for the watch more than he did his wife.
 
"It's lost!" cried his wife.

"Not on my watch," said the husband. He jumped into the well and drowned. 

 
The wife smiled and said, ''It really works!"

The family heirloom was caught on a rock projection inside the well. From where it continued to tick. Will it hang there forever? Only time will tell. 

 *********************************************************************

A couple came upon a wishing well. The man was upset because his wife called everyone 'Darling' as she couldn't be bothered to remember their names. Even his name. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled and said, "It really works!"

 *********************************************************************

A couple came upon a wishing well. The woman made a wish and threw in a penny. 

"Time flies when we're together," said the man.

"I hear it ticking," she said.

"You hear time ticking when we're together?"

"No, I hear a watch ticking. Must have fallen inside the well." The man thought that was ridiculous but he loved her too much to care that she heard strange things. It was time to make his move. He went on one knee and asked her to marry him. 

The woman was stunned for a moment but then smiled and thought, "It really works!"

First Impression versus Lasting Impression

First Impression versus Lasting Impression

They say you can't make a second first impression. You have only about 10 to 30 seconds to make that solid first impression. People assume in this first impression counts phenomena that a person's face, accent, clothes, handshake or gait is the window to their soul.

We test the firmness of the handshake. Does he have a firm grip? We conclude from a firm handshake that he or she must be self-assured, reliable and trustworthy. A limp handshake and he is a wuss. Probably not good in bed as well. Who cares if he broke his wrist last week while playing a vigorous game of tennis? We are talking about the here and now. First impressions. Style of clothing on the first date defines the individual.

We analyze gaits to infer psychological attributes. The ideal candidate is the person who walks into the room with 'purposeful' steps.

How do we process Facebook friend requests? He is wearing a suit and tilts his head on his profile picture. That must be a sign of pride. Is the chin tilted at an arrogant angle? Is he winking? Why did he cross his arms? He’s projecting a negative message of blocking out others. Quick judgments and simplistic misconceptions. You decline the Facebook friend request.

Your name could create the right or wrong first impression and make a huge difference. Yāshān Pahlavi (not his exact name but close enough) is a friend of mine. He left his family in Iran and migrated to the West where he perceived opportunities for a better life. In his new host-country he worked as a salesman with a telecommunication company. He had a good command of English with only the faintest trace of a foreign accent. But he found that whenever he introduced himself as Yāshān, he couldn't close a lot of sales. The name was like an oncoming meteor with an explosive impact, creating a large crater of pronunciation challenges which people fell into. After introducing himself, there was usually a cloud of swirling dust (first impression doubts in the mind), and then lights out. Sales died off, just like the dinosaurs.

Yāshān: My name is Yāshān. You requested a call back for our services. Is this a good time for you?

Customer: Your name is what? Where are you calling from? Where are you from originally? Why are you calling me? This is not a good time. Do you mind? I'm hosting guests for dinner.

Yāshān had a light-bulb moment. He was proud of his name and heritage but he needed to make sales. He decided to adopt the name Clayton during business hours. His numbers immediately hit the roof.

Yāshān: My name is Clayton. You requested a call back for our services. Is this a good time for you?

Customer: Sure. Let's get right into it, Clayton. Do you know my son is also called Clayton?

First impressions are relative easy to make and often overrated. It is the lasting impression that is the challenge. That's what counts in the long run.