First Impression versus Lasting Impression

First Impression versus Lasting Impression

They say you can't make a second first impression. You have only about 10 to 30 seconds to make that solid first impression. People assume in this first impression counts phenomena that a person's face, accent, clothes, handshake or gait is the window to their soul.

We test the firmness of the handshake. Does he have a firm grip? We conclude from a firm handshake that he or she must be self-assured, reliable and trustworthy. A limp handshake and he is a wuss. Probably not good in bed as well. Who cares if he broke his wrist last week while playing a vigorous game of tennis? We are talking about the here and now. First impressions. Style of clothing on the first date defines the individual.

We analyze gaits to infer psychological attributes. The ideal candidate is the person who walks into the room with 'purposeful' steps.

How do we process Facebook friend requests? He is wearing a suit and tilts his head on his profile picture. That must be a sign of pride. Is the chin tilted at an arrogant angle? Is he winking? Why did he cross his arms? He’s projecting a negative message of blocking out others. Quick judgments and simplistic misconceptions. You decline the Facebook friend request.

Your name could create the right or wrong first impression and make a huge difference. Yāshān Pahlavi (not his exact name but close enough) is a friend of mine. He left his family in Iran and migrated to the West where he perceived opportunities for a better life. In his new host-country he worked as a salesman with a telecommunication company. He had a good command of English with only the faintest trace of a foreign accent. But he found that whenever he introduced himself as Yāshān, he couldn't close a lot of sales. The name was like an oncoming meteor with an explosive impact, creating a large crater of pronunciation challenges which people fell into. After introducing himself, there was usually a cloud of swirling dust (first impression doubts in the mind), and then lights out. Sales died off, just like the dinosaurs.

Yāshān: My name is Yāshān. You requested a call back for our services. Is this a good time for you?

Customer: Your name is what? Where are you calling from? Where are you from originally? Why are you calling me? This is not a good time. Do you mind? I'm hosting guests for dinner.

Yāshān had a light-bulb moment. He was proud of his name and heritage but he needed to make sales. He decided to adopt the name Clayton during business hours. His numbers immediately hit the roof.

Yāshān: My name is Clayton. You requested a call back for our services. Is this a good time for you?

Customer: Sure. Let's get right into it, Clayton. Do you know my son is also called Clayton?

First impressions are relative easy to make and often overrated. It is the lasting impression that is the challenge. That's what counts in the long run.

 

 

 

COMPLIMENTS ARE FREE

COMPLIMENTS ARE FREE

 

Small gestures go a long way in building relationships and some things bear repeating.

 

Wife: You don't tell me you love me anymore.

Husband: I will let you know if my feelings change.

 

We all appreciate a genuine compliment now and then. Women love to be reassured and complimented. It makes them feel good about themselves. It doesn't matter if you have been together forever. At some point every one of us could use some reassurance, no matter how self-confident we are.

Misheard Lyrics

Misheard Lyrics

 

My friend sang along to the song that was playing and I realized he had got the words wrong. I corrected him and it ruined the song for him.

 

In the song 'Natural Mystic', Bob Marley sings: There's a natural mystic / Blowing through the air / If you listen carefully now you will hear.

 

My friend heard and sang a different version of the lyrics. When singing the song, he renders it as: There's a natural mistake / Blowing through the air / If you listen carefully now you will hear.

 

I pointed out that he's making a mistake. The correct word is mystic. He shook his head in dismay and looked sad afterwards.

 

His version is also valid though. If you listen carefully to news around the world, and what's blowing through the airwaves, you will hear crazy things. Awful mistakes happening around the globe. You come to realize it is a dog-eat-dog world. And the dog certainly isn't Rover or Lassie. This dog walks on two legs.

BASIC SIGNALS TRAINING

BASIC SIGNALS TRAINING

If you have to toss a coin to determine if a woman is hitting on you or not, then she's probably not hitting on you. It could also be that your hitting-on antenna is defective and not able to pick up signals. Some people miss both weak signals and sledgehammer hints.

Your boosted antenna should be able to scan and pick up hitting-on signals within a 100 miles radius after reading this. Let's get started. Here are some unmistakable signs that a woman has interest in you.

She's nervous when you meet like a smitten kitten. Purrs like a cat or smiles like an idiot. She laughs at even the hint of a joke. We all know you're not that funny. That’s how attraction works. Still keep your day job. Don't quit and venture into comedy.

She remembers stuff you tell her. She knows your moods and has a frown when you're down. She puts a lot of thought into your happiness and enjoys spending time with you. Open the window occasionally when you're together to let in some air. This will prevent both of you from choking on the strong fragrance of this attraction.

She tells you about the important stuff in her life and wants your opinion. She values your opinion on the deep fundamental questions of life. Coke or Pepsi?

It is not always about money. Her birthday doesn't come up twice every year with over-the-top celebrations that puts your bank account in the red.

There's body contact when communicating. She touches you when talking or making a point. Wants to hold hands. She often says 'we' in conversations about the future because you're now an unbeatable tag team. You're ideal teammates and potential champions in the WWE tag team professional wrestling category.

She's conscious of her appearance. Makes that extra effort to impress you. Puts some thought into her outfits and wants to look good knowing that you're going to meet. She wore the same skirt for an entire week because you said you like it.

She is a personal champion for you and your goals. She's proud of you and showers you with praise when you succeed. She goes on and on and on about you. Her best friends and family members are sick and tired of hearing about this awesome person. Enough already!

Congratulations! You have now completed your basic signals training. You have unlocked the seven signs of attraction. Now, go out with your optimized antenna. Your true love awaits.

INSTINCT VS LOGIC IN MATTERS OF THE HEART

 INSTINCT VS LOGIC IN MATTERS OF THE HEART

We must not be surprised if our instincts are not all that they should be in love. The sober truth is that sometimes we get it wrong with matters of the heart. You may get a flutter in your stomach and get lost in his or her eyes, but many people get lost in new places they visit, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

When someone leaves you breathless also remember that feeling out of breath is a common symptom of respiratory related ailments. It might be more important to seek medical attention rather than act on your instinct that wheezing is a sign from the heavens to get a date or phone number.

I once had a girlfriend who laughed at all my lame jokes and told me I was funny. She followed me everywhere like a smitten kitten. That, instinctively, is how attraction and love works, right? It was unnerving how she would follow me even to the bathroom and watch me do my business. She stuck to me like the spots on a Dalmatian and seemed to think I might escape through some secret rear door if she wasn't keeping a watchful eye on me.

It is a great feeling that someone needs you. But needing you the entire time is also an instinctive red flag. We all need some space or independence as adults.

Comparison to the Ex dulls the axe of any relationship. Instinctively, some people date those with a strong resemblance to their Ex. Their Ex becomes their “type” and this is probably an unhealthy cycle that they keep repeating. Great relationships require hard work but not on a permanent basis. Being in a relationship and ceaselessly trying to be more like the Ex is exhausting work. You will end up a frustrated, perpetual underachiever.

Truth is said in jest. That’s logical. Watch out for anyone you're in a relationship with who makes rude comments about you and then claim they were just joking. Such jokes are the truth spoken from the depths of their hearts.