Monday, December 25, 2017

Movie Clichés: Bank Robberies

Movie Clichés: Bank Robberies

 
Originality in entertainment is hard to come by these days. The real robbery in heist movies are the stolen plots and cliché lines. If the movie is about a bank robbery, then this is how it goes down:
 
*The bank robber takes on one last job. This is it. The last one. He voluntarily comes out of retirement or is forced out of retirement by some bad guys. He's set for life if he can just pull this off.
 
*The plot thickens as he gathers a small crew of outlaws for the job. The crew of misfits often has a badass driver who's clumsy outside of a car. He drives like crazy and is the best getaway driver in town. If a female is part of the gang, then expect her to swear like a sailor.
 
*The robbery never goes according to plan. There's a lot of shooting during the actual heist and most of it is inaccurate. Cops and robbers are more interested in shattering objects around them than aiming at each other.
 
*Kids are always smarter than adults in such movies. It's a rule that must not be flouted.
 
*In their bid to get away, the robbers steal items of clothing to disguise themselves. These will fit perfectly, irrespective of the size or gender of the person from whom they stole the clothes.
 
*A robber who carries a photo of a loved one or describes how he's going to spend his loot, has no chance of returning alive. But the dying robber always lives long enough to say something profound like, “I have a bad feeling about this.”
 
*When the hero is confronted by cops or opponents, they agree to only attack him one at a time. This is probably part of the Geneva Conventions.
 

Monday, December 18, 2017

GINGERBREAD HOUSE CONTEST


GINGERBREAD HOUSE CONTEST

 
My office organizes an annual Gingerbread house design contest. It’s a labor of love that gets us into the holiday spirit. Two teams tagged ‘Red’ and ‘Blue' engage in erecting the most beautiful structures. It’s fun to see who can make the best decorated gingerbread house. Combining mini marshmallows, gumdrops, icing sugar, candy, spices and sprinkle. 
 
The Gingerbread houses are displayed in the open office on a raised platform. Staff vote for their preferred house using the provided red and blue ballots. I led the Red team this year and we worked hard on our edible house. My colleague, let's call her Miss P, was in charge of the Blue team. Team Red took the lead immediately.
 
Miss P let out a cry of disbelief at the growing pile of red ballots in the transparent box. Then she said to herself, "What the hell?" 
 
She walked over and stuffed all her blue ballots in the box. 

"There! We won," she declared. We all stared at her slack-jawed in shock. 

 "Why did you do that?" I asked. "Now it's all messed up."

"I never lose," she said. 

You'd think we were seven-year-old kids back in grade school.